i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
