im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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