just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
