We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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