This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
