whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
