If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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