judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
