This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
