therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
