I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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