What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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