I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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