mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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