everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize