U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
