He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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