I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
