Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
