I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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