he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
