And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
