I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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