Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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