You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
