Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize