11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize