So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
