You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need water and some morals
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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