We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
