I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just found a bag of teeth...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
