Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
