i think my tv is drunk
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
