yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
and you fell through a lawn chair
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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