We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i came on her dog
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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