Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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