just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
