Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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