I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
