I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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