Yo dont text me then not text me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
