Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
