If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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