Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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