Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
