$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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