dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
