you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
