I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
