For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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