i would punch a child for taco bell
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
