She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
