Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
