so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
