There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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