Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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