He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
