Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
