these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
