Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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