a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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