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I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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