if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
