Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
