We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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