AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The Olympian is in my bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
