He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize