Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
