i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
