I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
