Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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