Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
